dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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