my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
