if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
