its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
