its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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