i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
and you fell through a lawn chair
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
