At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
