yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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