whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
