what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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