OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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