I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I pour the whiskey from now on
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
