he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
