Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
