not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
