when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
