gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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