I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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