i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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