she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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