I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
