I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
