Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
