Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Less talking, more tequila
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
