what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
