you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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