The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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