I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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