Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
