Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
