Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
