god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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