I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm eating all of the evidence.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
