He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
