even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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