i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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