I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
