I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So squirting runs in the family.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
