when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
