I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
