k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
