Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
