Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
