yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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