i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
