told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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