What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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