I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
