How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
