dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
